5 Ways A Male Feminist Makes A Really Good Boyfriend

5 reasons you should go out with a male feminist hairy armpits pinterestFeminist boy. Source: Pinterest

This is another slightly silly post. But it’s true, a lot of women go weak at the knees for a feminist guy (or at least, I do!) and here’s why:

  1. He’s down with consent

A guy who is aware that when he offers a cup of tea, you might not want it at that particular point in time, and is ok with that becomes majorly attractive. Someone who understands what no means and respects it immediately and with little worry becomes someone we want in our corner.

2. He cares about you

If a guy cares about women’s rights and equality, then he cares about you and all women. That’s hot.

3. He is likely to be fair to you

Anyone that is on the side of equality is likely to show those same views within all of his relationships. Because fairness is important to him. Period.

4. He’s perceptive and empathic

A lot of people cannot see when inequality does not exist simply because it isn’t happening to them and they haven’t maybe understood (or they don’t want to) how this can effect any ‘minority’ group. (I say ‘minority’ as there are a few more women (1%) than men in my country today)

5. He will respect you

Anyone who sees women already as equal to men can see the good points about being a woman and respects women. It is those that believe women are ‘less than’ that do not appreciate women’s strengths. Likelihood is he will both appreciate and respect you.

This is not to say that all men (or women!) who proclaim themselves as feminist are perfect. But, if the right guy (or gal) comes along and they genuinely share these views… total bonus, right?!

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So there you have it! What do you think? Let me know in the comments.

Inner Violence? Why your inner peace is so important for the planet today

hairy armpitspeace innerInner Buddha. Source: Your Life Your Way

There is a lot of talk of inner peace. And I just realised the real benefit of it.

I had always thought inner peace was all well and good.I like the feeling of peace, who doesn’t? ‘But it doesn’t help the people fighting in Palestine, I would argue. It doesn’t take direct action.’

I understood that we cannot give (much) to others, if we haven’t taken care of ourselves. But that was the most I valued in it. I didn’t see how it connected practically to the outer world. I thought finding ‘inner peace’ was a fluffy idea that didn’t really do anything much.

Yesterday I had a hard time getting starting on my writing work. I’m stuck in a difficult situation where I want my own independence but am too stuck in my ways of wanting to write my novel and change the world to manage to leave my mum’s house.

This whole situation creates a continual inner conflict.

Listening today to a talk about the Dalai Lama, I realised, that the harsh words I have been saying to myself, are actually contributing to violence on the planet- the one thing I do not want! I realised I was inflicting violence upon someone – myself. And that shouldn’t mean the violence is any less needed to resolve.

When I heard Jeremy Gilley (founder of Peace One Day) say that 98% of conflict is not in the war zone; it is in our communities, and we can all become peacemakers on our turf; it opened my eyes to the power we each have. All conflict is connected, and in a culture where conflict thrives (all you need to do is watch an episode of Coronation Street or open a newspaper, or even watch cartoons) , war becomes a much more feasible option.

And why is this important? I am not likely to be violent to others, although the jump from judging myself to judging someone else in a harsh way is not so far. It is most important to be able to be compassionate to myself when I have acted in a ‘not so perfect’ way, because if I can’t have compassion for myself when I am in pain, I will never be able to hear what is going on for anyone else when we are in conflict. If I can’t DEAL with myself and my emotions and can only ever see an enemy image in myself, then I cannot hear what is going on for someone else in another situation. And without that connection, violence wins. It’s that simple.

And as a pacifist, I do not want to contribute to violence. There is enough in this world.

And so the next time I begin chastising myself, I will begin a conversation with my inner educator.

I realise now that it starts with me. It starts with empathy. It starts with inner peace.

Marshall ❤ Source: The Tube

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