Inner Violence? Why your inner peace is so important for the planet today

hairy armpitspeace innerInner Buddha. Source: Your Life Your Way

There is a lot of talk of inner peace. And I just realised the real benefit of it.

I had always thought inner peace was all well and good.I like the feeling of peace, who doesn’t? ‘But it doesn’t help the people fighting in Palestine, I would argue. It doesn’t take direct action.’

I understood that we cannot give (much) to others, if we haven’t taken care of ourselves. But that was the most I valued in it. I didn’t see how it connected practically to the outer world. I thought finding ‘inner peace’ was a fluffy idea that didn’t really do anything much.

Yesterday I had a hard time getting starting on my writing work. I’m stuck in a difficult situation where I want my own independence but am too stuck in my ways of wanting to write my novel and change the world to manage to leave my mum’s house.

This whole situation creates a continual inner conflict.

Listening today to a talk about the Dalai Lama, I realised, that the harsh words I have been saying to myself, are actually contributing to violence on the planet- the one thing I do not want! I realised I was inflicting violence upon someone – myself. And that shouldn’t mean the violence is any less needed to resolve.

When I heard Jeremy Gilley (founder of Peace One Day) say that 98% of conflict is not in the war zone; it is in our communities, and we can all become peacemakers on our turf; it opened my eyes to the power we each have. All conflict is connected, and in a culture where conflict thrives (all you need to do is watch an episode of Coronation Street or open a newspaper, or even watch cartoons) , war becomes a much more feasible option.

And why is this important? I am not likely to be violent to others, although the jump from judging myself to judging someone else in a harsh way is not so far. It is most important to be able to be compassionate to myself when I have acted in a ‘not so perfect’ way, because if I can’t have compassion for myself when I am in pain, I will never be able to hear what is going on for anyone else when we are in conflict. If I can’t DEAL with myself and my emotions and can only ever see an enemy image in myself, then I cannot hear what is going on for someone else in another situation. And without that connection, violence wins. It’s that simple.

And as a pacifist, I do not want to contribute to violence. There is enough in this world.

And so the next time I begin chastising myself, I will begin a conversation with my inner educator.

I realise now that it starts with me. It starts with empathy. It starts with inner peace.

Marshall ❤ Source: The Tube

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Ten hot men that are feminists

I was searching for some feminist inspiration, and noticed some guys standing up for women’s rights. And any guy who believes in equality and is #heforshe is instantly more attractive to me.

So, here we go:

  1. Ryan Gosling

ryan-gosling-she-knowsSource: sheknows

2. Matt McGory

matt-quote-on-feminism-matt-mcgorry-39280485-650-455actorSource: fanpop

3. Daniel Radcliffe

daniel-radcliffeSource: imgrum

4. Joseph Gordon-Levitt


Source: takepart

5. Patrick Stewart

love-patrick-stuartSource: Pinterest

6. Prince Harry

hairy armpits prince harry.jpegSource: sheknows

7. The Dalai Lama

hairy armpits dalai lama quote best-quotes-about-feminism-from-male-celebs-his-holiness-the-dalai.jpegSource: sheknows

8. John Legend

hairy-armpits-blog-john-legend-pinterestSource: Pinterest

9. Aziz Ansari

feminist-quote-29-picture-quotes-aziz-ansariSource: picture quotes

10. Will Smith

hairy armpits hot men quotes-feminist-male-will-smith.jpgSource: sheknows

11. Jay Baruchel

best-quotes-about-feminism-from-male-celebs-jay-baruchel.jpegSource: sheknows

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For the Naysayers


for the naysayers hairy armpits india_gender_justice_equality_women_equal_asia_human_rights_international_aid_opt.jpgEquality? Source: The Borgen Project.

I don’t usually write anything negative on here. I don’t like to give it the space. But this one’s for my sanity.

Whilst researching for this blog, I find many many comments of the same ilk appearing. Below videos that I am often very excited about, I scroll down (I know I shouldn’t!) and find comments that sting. Comments saying things like ‘feminists are selfish’ – ‘they have no idea what they are talking about, their claims are false’.

When a women feels upset because of a perceived inequality, she is told that this perception is wrong, that it does not exist. She has no proof. I decided to find the proof. The response to that recurring question; ‘name one way women are unequal in this society?’:

Here is the Plan International report on girls inequality 2015

Some stats on the gender pay gap

Findings on all sorts of issues by the LSE Commission

The world average of women in government is 22% (2016), things are moving forwards, just pretty slowly.

Some depressing figures from Rape Crisis just about the UK. The number of women the most often mentioned is 1 in 3 will experience sexual or physical violence in their lifetimes. Great.

15 million girls are married underage every year

Can be self-full all year round 😉 Source: The Tube

The ‘these women are selfish’ argument. -If I am selfish for caring about my human rights and equality, then great! I do not advocate the use of names to put anyone down. But I am happy to be as ‘self-full’ as I possibly can. I think having a world in which women are more self-full is a wonderful idea, isn’t it?!

‘She’s weak’. I see fighting for your own human rights, for other women’s human rights, as beautifully brave. When I see people fighting for LGBT rights, or Black rights. Man, isn’t that admirable? All these people across the world caring about their lives, caring for others and saying, no, this will not do, you cannot treat me this way?

‘We don’t need feminism… she’s just acting the victim.’ Please see the facts and figures above!

‘Men have problems, too!’ I don’t see this one so often. And I am most happy to see it. Yes, you do! -Women want to be heard just as much as men – and if we can start a discussion about both gender’s problems, maybe we can all help each other out. -After all isn’t that what equality is all about?

hugs-giphyHugs. Source: giphy

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Now maybe when I see one of these comments I will simply be able to breath, remember my life purpose, remember my beating heart and spirit, and move on with love for the person who does not ever need to agree with me.

If you feel moved to give me a gift, I thank you in advance. Let me know when you do if you like, I would love to connect with you! ❤

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In response to… The Women’s Equality Party

in-response-to-the-womens-equality-party-hairy-armpits-blog-weThe Women’s Equality Party. Source: Empowering.Hearst

First of all, how have I not heard of this?!

The idea of women coming together who all believe in the same thing – equality – is an idea I have thought about since the start of my blog. I knew it would be the way forward in terms of having a momentous amount of energy and power behind the idea of equality. Only I had no idea how that would or could happen. Now I know- it’s in the ballot box!

I am very happy to see this and to see that Sandi Toksvig is a key player in supporting the party. I am happy about that because a lot of people already know who she is. And we like her. And we like QI. I am also happy because she is someone I can trust and get behind.

Seeing the leader Sophie Walker, talk about the support they have already had brought me to tears because I could see the passion I have been feeling whilst writing my blog in her speech. It helped me know that I am not alone, not a single voice calling into the empty hollow void of the internet, but can stand united with many women and men who believe that equality for everyone is the best thing for all.

They have so far received a lot of support (65,000 members and supporters), and the reassuring thing is this is just the beginning. Now the party exists, I am confident it will continue to grow, and to help raise the issue of equality.

Already other Politicians are jumping on the bandwagon, realising they might lose voters if they don’t at least show some interest in women’s rights. While their motivation for this may not be purely in the interest of women, and mostly in the interest of their own power, this is encouraging in and of itself.

in-response-to-the-womens-equality-party-hairy-armpits-blog-celebrating-minions-wallpaper-2981Minions. Source: WallpaperMade

What can I say? It’s a great day for feminism, and is something to be celebrated, that this is becoming a mainstream debate. Despite challenges in becoming a female politician, and many name calling commenters on Youtube, these women are standing up for what they believe in and speaking out for women’s rights.

They could be likened to the Martin Luther King or Mahatma Ghandi of this age. Because in the face of it, they are standing tall and beside us, taking a lot of sh*t for what they believe and I support them 100%.

Comedian Jo Brand and Caitlin Moran, author of How to be a Woman, and many other awesome women (and men) support the campaign, and you can, too!

IF you do support them in heart, please support them in pocket too, if you can. I only say this because they only get their funding off of people like you and me. And when political parties win, it is usually those who have spent the most money. So if all women and men who believe in equality can offer a little amount, then in the long run, it could have a hugely positive effect on all our futures. They even offer reduced membership if you’re hard up.

in-response-to-the-womens-equality-party-hairy-armpits-blog-woman-holding-glowing-world-peaceful-patternsWoman holding glowing world. Source: Peaceful patterns

Other things we can do are vote WE on May 5th 2017, go to a local march, support them online and watch this movement spread throughout the world.

It is time for women to inherit the earth, and their slice of the cake.

Sophie Walker’s Leadership Speech. Source: The Tube

How do you feel about this idea, this movement? Excited? Let me know in the comments!

If you feel moved to give me a gift, I thank you in advance. Let me know when you do if you like, I would love to connect with you! ❤

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Alternate words for sl*t


Inanna. Source: PearlWhiteCrow

Hello Goddesses! (And Gods!)

Like I said in my blog post the other day, there are many reasons not to call someone a slut… But what I didn’t do was give you any alternatives.

As we know from dieting, or talking to children, telling someone NOT to do something doesn’t work! We need to know what to do instead. This gives us a direction; a new focus.

So, here are some ideas for what to say instead, so that you can really enjoy talking about yours and others sexuality:

“You’re such a…”

Sexually empowered Goddess

Sexually Liberated Woman

Alternate-Universe Hottie

Sex Goddess

Aphrodite (Goddess of Love)

Venus (“”)

Inanna (Goddess of love and war – queen of heaven)

Magdalene (Goddess – the joining of two equals)

Inamorata (Someone’s female lover – derived from the Italian word amore)





Force of nature

Sexy lady

Horizontal Rhumba Marathon Girl

Femme Fatal



Magdeline. Source: Meetup

And instead of saying someone has acted in a sl*tty way, we can say:

“You’re so…”



Open to new possibilities







So, the next time your girl friend comes back from a one night stand, don’t say ‘You sl*t!’ say “Damn girl, you are one sexually amorous horizontal marathon girl!” And then you can revel in the wonderfulness of your sexualities’ and your being.

P.S. You can also check this cool article for alt ways to say ‘the walk of shame’ – my favourite is the ‘stride of pride’.

Got any more you want to add to the list? Let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear them 🙂

If you feel moved to give me a gift, I thank you in advance. Let me know when you do if you like, I would love to connect with you! ❤

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Sexual Empowerment pioneers

Following on from my theme last week, here are some women who will get you feeling good about empowered female sexuality:

Amy Jo Goddard, Sex Educator

Amy teaches young girls and women that they are not sexually broken.sexual pioneers hairy armpits blog amy jo goddard asking for what you want.jpgAmy. Source: asking for what you want

“The more whole we are as sexual beings, the more fulfilled we are as human beings.”

Dita Von Teese, Burlesque Artist

Burlesque as we have seen, can have a positive effect on body image, but it also ties in with feeling a new kind of sexy that empowers women.

dita-mamzelle-kitkatDita. Source: Mamzelle

“Burlesque is turning exploitative to empowering – because it is using a woman’s fantasy.”

Sara Luckey, Bluestocking Magazine Editor

Do what you want to do – whether it’s sleep with a lot of people, or not – that is the sexually empowered you.

missbluestocking1896Bluestocking mag. Source: Edward Penfeld

“… while we’re trying to reach a point where all women feel sexually liberated, it’s important to keep in mind that that’s different for everybody, and there’s more than one way to feel empowered in your choices.”

Christina Aguilera, Singer

Not only is she one awesome singer, she advocates women’s sexuality!

sexual-empowerment-pioneers-hairy-armpits-christina-aguileraChris. Source: crackberry

“I think women are sensual, beautiful beings, and I feel empowered when I express myself sexually.”

Shereen El Feki, Journalist and Author

Tells a story of how sex can be free’er, how we can be liberated to love safely – to choose our partners and experiences.

shereen glamour paris.jpgShereen. Source: Ted

“The political and the sexual are intimate bedfellows, no matter where we live and love.”


Pamela Madsen, Divine Goddess Movement

Pamela Madsen holds retreats and sessions for women to embrace their bodies and their sexuality. She is divinely flirty.

Pamela_Madsen_Lori_Berkowitz_3.jpgPamela. Source: Pamela Madsen

“The sexually empowered woman can not only feel fully, she can bring that energy into all of her life’s endeavours. It’s powerful. You become a force of nature.”

Beyoncé Knowles, Singer

While debated by the media for her feminist status, Beyoncé is without a doubt, empowered in her sexuality.

hairy armpits blogbeyonce .pngBeyoncé. Source: We heart it

“I don’t at all have any shame about being sexual, and I’m not embarrassed about it, I don’t feel like I have to protect that side of me, because I do believe sexuality is a power that we all have.”

Maya Angelou, Poet

Just this line… I dance every time Maya!

“Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise that I dance like I’ve got diamonds at the meeting of my thighs?”


Why I Dance

This is really beautiful – an expression of womanhood, self-expression, sexuality and individuality all in one.

Why I Dance from Why I Dance Film on Vimeo.

“What started as pole fitness has become a journey that changed the way we think about ourselves and other women; we learned to better love ourselves, love our bodies and to take back the power of our sexuality.”

What do you think? Anyone women who inspire you to feel good in your own empowered Goddess-like sexuality? Let me know in the comments!

If you enjoyed this article and would like to give me a gift, thank you in advance x

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Why women are not sl*ts- they are temples

The Golden Temple (holiest Sikh shrine), Amritsar, Punjab, IndiaSri Harmandir Sahib. Source: WordPress

I see myself as a Goddess. If I value myself and my body and decide that it is sacred – does that mean no one can come inside and visit? No. A truly beautiful temple has many visitors. This doesn’t mean that a woman who saves herself for one man or woman or trans person, is any less of a temple.

We need to see ourselves as beautiful beings, and tell our friends, no – just because someone burnt down the alter, or wrote on the walls, does not mean you are any less of a goddess temple. As the line says in the poem– “no man can make a wounded energy of your flesh.”

And no name- no shame- that you felt after the one night stand, the rape, the callous looks of someone who is upset about something in themselves and has nothing to do with you, can ever take away the fact that you know your inner value.

That’s why the word hurts so much, and I don’t use it as I know that it has been used all too much. As a hopeless slur, to abuse you. To abuse all of us. As younger generations appear, I am confident there is not a fourteen year old school girl that has not been called this name in some form or capacity – as- class shaming becomes pre-dominant and as a way to cut girls down when they are learning so many other things from the media and TV about what it is to be a girl – and what’s bad about it.

About how bad it is to have larger breasts, or to have smaller breasts, to have sex with consent, to refrain from it. To wear short skirts and low cut tops, and to cover up, and to be human, and to live and to love and to cry.

And I’m sorry if I’m getting emotional, but this is important to me. Because those girls are important to me. Because they are me – I was them once and they will become what I am now, and I hope to God that they can see themselves as lovable with all this crap going on as women begin to find it hard to orgasm with all of these conflicted and shameful messages in their heads.

Tell your daughters- they are a temple. They have their own inner space and power. Don’t let any media image or bitchy girl trample all over that, because that is so easily done. And at that age, it is hard to become un-done.

Tell them, they are never a slut.

 They are women. And we laugh at the crocodiles.

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