The river. Source: Pinterest
Yesterday I went for a walk by the river.
There was a section where most of it was blocked off by leaves and stones. There were small fish trapped in this pool, unable to continue down stream, and I could empathise.
I have felt trapped in poverty for years now, with only low paying part-time jobs, rent and a large loan from my Masters to pay off, I have felt very much like a small fish stuck in a small pool.
In this particular pool a thin white layer of pollution whirled and bubbled on the surface. A poison inevitably building up and stagnating when things don’t flow in life. That poison to me, symbolised my poverty. I saw myself as trapped in those swirls in which the water only ever turned and never flowed through to the next part of the river.
What would I do, I thought to myself, if I were a fish, trapped in that pool, as they were? Perhaps I would have to jump, to push myself to the limits, so that I could escape? But that still didn’t seem like the answer…
I continued to consider the swirling water, the trap. Perhaps I could take away a stone? But they were out of my grasp and a small fish couldn’t have moved them, anyway. I thought about throwing a stone into that swirl vortex. I wanted to change the flow, to change… something. I was frustrated, there seemed no answer. I resented the trapped feeling this pool of water represented.
And so as I began to walk away from one of the most beautiful spots in my little town, I took two stones, and angrily threw them into the water. The first stone, I threw and saw the flow change for a second. The second, changed the flow further.
River ripple. Source: Pinterest
I felt elated. I had changed the flow. I had made it possible for something other than being stuck in the swirling water, possible. And hopefully I hadn’t hit one of the fish.
But then, of course, the flow slowly turned back to it’s natural state. I realised it made no difference how many stones I threw in the water. The water would always begin swirling in the same direction, still just as stuck and stagnant as before.
If I were to stay circling round this current, then I would never get anywhere. It was at that moment that I saw there was a small gap, through which a small amount of the water was flowing. The pool was not completely stagnant. So if I were a fish stuck in the pool, I would simply have to find that gap.
And what I saw in terms of my life, and my career,was that there would always be a small gap in between the rocks. It is just finding it. This gave me hope.
In an instant, I knew that this was the only way I could solve my problems. I had to find my very own ‘flow’.
Following that experience, I happened to watch this video:
“Surrender is like a fish finding the current and going with it.”
Poet, Mark Nepo. Source: The Tube
And it was then I knew this was a lesson I was truly meant to learn that day. And I am glad to share it with you.
And I saw my ‘aha’ moment being expressed by someone else. That often happens in life and love; often the things I need to learn keep coming back to me through different sources, until I have really got it. Do you ever find that?
Anyway, this is just what I learnt one sunny afternoon when I went for a walk.
Freedom swim. Source: Pinterest
“On the other side of resistance, is the flow”