Peaceful promise

I’d like you to join me, in starting with this pledge to allegiance for peace:

 

I promise, from this day on, to try to contribute to peace on this planet.

I choose to live my life in a peaceful way, taking responsibility for my choices, and contributing to the cause of peace in any way I can.

I choose to see people’s needs and feelings, and to use language that contributes to life, rather than creating enemy images or dehumanising my brothers and sisters.

I do this because I know the huge impact just one (seemingly) small person like me, can have on other peoples’ lives.

When I think of all the people I will meet during my lifetime, I believe that if just a handful are touched by my peaceful ways, then I will have helped to contribute to a better life for those in the future, and I will know that mine was a life well-lived.

I want to stand for something. I want to stand for peace.

Today.

Everyday.

Peace.

Maybe if enough of us say this and act upon it, maybe one day we will have world peace.

Please share if you believe in this, too.

how-to-love-your-piccadillos-hairy-armpits-elephant-boyPeaceful trunk. Source: arynbates

“From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow.”

Aeschylus

Thanks in advance for any gifts you might want to give, they are most appreciated.

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The human feminist – a field beyond feminism

Feminism isn’t about hating men any more than enjoying the music of the Beatles is anti-Beegees. As Caitlin Moran said, not all feminists want to burn penises. I’m actually quite against it, myself.

caitlin moran feminism

“When women talk about “The Man”, we’re not talking about you. You’re just a man. You’re not The Man.”

Caitlin Moran. Source: interview magazine

 

In a recent conversation with a few friends I got told there were some people who might expect an angry woman or get scared at the idea of me, if I were to call myself a feminist. Maybe it was a good idea for me to stop using that word, they said.

Thing is, I just want to be able to say what I believe without being put in a box. I am just me. Just little old me, typing at my computer. So when you hear the label ‘feminist’, please don’t jump to the conclusion that I burn bras or begin an ‘all people like you…’ list.

The label only serves for me to express my beliefs. That’s all.

feminist-quote-29-picture-quotes-aziz-ansariAziz Ansari. Source: Pinterest

I am a white, female, feminist, pacifist, humanitarian, egalitarian, humorous Brit. But none of those things make me who I really am. To say you know who I am because of my job description would be just as dehumanising. It is my decision what I call myself, how I express myself. I believe in equality. And peace. And to deny that would be unnatural.

Perhaps one day I will become ‘the writer formerly known as hairy’. But in the meantime…

mlk

“I look to a day when people will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Martin Luther King Jr. Source: seattle times

I like the idea that we can be judged on the content of our character, instead of what is seen on the surface. I’m not just a feminist. I’m so much more than my labels. And so are you.

And right now the world seems so separated by these names, these ideas, of what one person believes, or not.

So, let’s try and see behind the labels.

Break down the enemy images.

And remember we’re just all human beings.

rumi-quote-about-love-and-the-picture-of-amazing-field-rumi-quotes-about-true-love-930x617Rumi. Source: mactoons

What do you think? Ever been labelled and want to break free from the stereotypical chains?

Let me know in the comments, and as always, thank you in advance for any little gifts you might want to give 🙂

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10 ways to get comfortable using the ‘f’ word

feminist lookbookSwag. Source: lookbook

It has taken me just over a year to begin feeling comfortable with calling myself a feminist, with putting it on my site, even.

Here’s how you can, too!

Try telling your friends and people who support you

It’s funny to me as I meet new friends and they gasp (maybe not quite gasp), but as they wonder at how I could be so bold as to say that I am. I used to wonder if I could be so bold, also, but now, it’s really become easy, old hat.

My newest friend asked me if I get a lot of negative reactions, and the answer is honestly, no. I do see negative reactions to feminist videos, to anything that might resemble a woman standing up for her rights or talking about other women as if they had rights (audacious, I know!) but I personally have never had anything close to abuse or negativity about my views. (Touch wood!)

Talk with other feminists

Being in a group where you know there will be no retribution and will support your views is always a good thing. A lot of the people I follow on twitter I know are feminists or supporters of feminism (if they’ve not quite got there yet!)

Perhaps this is because I am always networking with those of like-minded thoughts.

I don’t get into comment fights if I can avoid it, and any comments I make are only for what I believe is a positive step for feminism – I express my enthusiasm, and it’s very difficult to argue with someone who has not even given an opinion, only expressed a feeling of joy that equality is that little bit closer for all women.

Express your feelings, not your opinions

This is not to say that voicing your opinion is not a good idea, it’s simply for those that don’t want to get in a fight about what they intrinsically believe – and why should they if they don’t have to? The idea is to stand up for what we believe in, not to bring others down who don’t believe in it.

Empathise with those who don’t believe what you believe

When some people say why you should shut up or shouldn’t call yourself a feminist specifically it can be hard to hear, if that’s what you identify as. But empathising with those statements, i.e. seeing the feelings and needs behind them can allow you to accept any differences of opinion. We’re allowed to disagree.

Plus, a bonus of this is people expect a dehumanising argument sent back their way. If you instead try to connect with their statement, it will at least confuse them, and at best, help both parties to feel heard and understood.

Know that you don’t have to use ‘the word’

Some people just don’t like the word ‘feminist’ I’m not sure why, and I will be writing a post on that topic next, because when it comes to it, it simply means wanting women to have basic human rights and equality.

But, just because I use the word for myself, doesn’t mean YOU have to. -Who cares?! A word is a word, and it’s my own right to identify as any identity I want to, and it is yours, too.

And if you do like the idea of equality, you might come to call yourself a feminist just to yourself, as I did, at first. It’s not like I go around with an ‘I am a feminist’ t-shirt on all day. I don’t talk about it all day long to complete strangers – it’s just a part of who I am – what I believe in – and why I write these posts in my attempt to empower myself and other women.

You don’t have to give up lipstick

Or make-up. Or hair products. Or being girly. Or manly. You don’t have to be angry all the time. Or give up having fun. Or laughing. Or having sex. Or not having sex.

It’s just about equal rights… Not about hating.

Shout it out

As Caitlin Moran suggests, try standing on a chair and yelling out words like ‘feminist’ and ‘environment’ until they become as natural as saying chocolate or macadamia nuts. (bonus points if you got the Eat, Prey, Love reference)

Use a disclaimer

The first post I ever wrote on this blog was about how not all feminists are dungarees-wearing, bra-burning, hairy-arm-pitted lesbians. I explained who I was, how I am JUST interested in equality for women.

Remember, it’s not your responsibility how other people react to you

This is simply that a friend of mine told me maybe the word feminist isn’t so good’er idea to use the actual word. It might offend some people. But that’s because they don’t know who I am, and they don’t know what I’m about. And they have their own stuff going on.

And that’s ok, but it’s not my responsibility to help them out. I might want to. I might want to clear some things up. To use a disclaimer. In that case, I would. But I am what I am as they say, so I’m not about to go around apologising all the time if they can’t believe me, the same way they don’t need to for disagreeing with me.

Remember, it’s about individuals

We’re all different. Some people won’t agree with you. No matter what you say. So you may as well say, quite simply, what you believe in.

I choose to use the ‘f’ word. Because it defines easily what I believe and any misconception that it means anything other than (I’ll say it again!) wanting equal rights for women, is a shame, but I have stated simply in what I believe and if someone chooses not to take my word for it, that’s really their prerogative. I don’t have to prove my beliefs to them.

In the same way, I am a pacifist, no one questions what this means.

Being a feminist, to me, is the same. And that’s my prerogative

Don’t worry, you don’t have to be ‘weak’ or ‘whiny’

You don’t have to be a ‘victim’ to be a feminist. You just need to want equality. It’s. really. That. Simple.

You can be super strong and want equality (if you like). Like Michele Obama 🙂

You can give feminism a good name

Feel like feminists have a bad rep? Well, you can change that.

Anyway, I’m not saying deciding to take that great leap and claim the name is easy. But I will say that if you are brave to even say the ‘f’ word once a year, you will be giving it a new shine, a new lease of life. Because there is a stereotype of angry bra-burning feminist, people shy away from using the word. But it’s not a big deal. It’s like saying, I eat chicken, I am a pacifist, I believe in human rights. I believe in equality. It’s the same thing.

Sharing that you are a feminist can be scary, but once you’ve done it, it really becomes reassuring just HOW MANY people will support you in your boldness to claim the label; to make it clear that you stand for women’s rights, and to show that you are not a horrible man-eating ogre to boot! 😉

 

So there we have it, ten ways to feel more comfortable using the ‘f’ word. I hope it’s helped.

Overall I have made my peace with the fact that there are those out there that do not believe what I believe, who do not understand my need for equality, who will make arguments against why they don’t see the need. And that’s ok. Hopefully one day we will be able to connect. Or not. But that’s their role in life, and this is mine. And I have to play it out with as much gusto as I possibly can.

I think one reason my blog has had so much support and not one negative comment (again, so far!), is because I am usually positive with my posts, always looking for the best in any situation and supporting young women. There is no ‘down with men’ speak of any kind, because I love men, and I think being a woman is a wonderful thing to be, I just also want equality…

 

What do you think? Are you loving the word or does it not matter at all? Let me know in the comments, and as always, thanks in advance for any little gifts you might want to give 🙂

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I am looking for a feminist designer

hairy armpits I am looking for a designer feminist AF t-shirtFeminist sweats. Source: Etsy via pinkboxstudio

Hey guys and gals,

I am wanting to create some super cool t-shirts with someone!

I am needing to make money, yes, and also really wanting to have people become a walking advert for feminism and all these lovely things we are talking about here on the Hairy Armpits Blog.

I’m hoping for someone who ‘gets’ the style that I am looking for and is kinda cool. No office politics here, just friendship and respect. I will never talk to you like a computer and we can sort out pay afterwards – whether that be a flat rate per design, or a little bit of money in for you each time a t-shirt is purchased.

I need someone who:

  • is confident in designing logos and images/text for t-shirts
  • likes what they do
  • respects deadlines (or ignores them, but essentially gets the work done, because they care, too)
  • has some training in this area, either self-trained or otherwise
  • ideally has less experience, so we can grow together – if you KNOW you have potential but no one else is giving you a chance, I am especially interested in working with you.
  • likes the idea of making my ideas into a reality, along with having the freedom to try out their ideas, providing I’m on board

…I mostly need someone who cares about the same things as me (equality, peace, humanitarianism, gender, the environment and hairy armpits) so we can make something awesome together and make some dough!

If you know someone who might be right for this position, share this post and I’ll see if we can get  them on board. If you’re interested in this position yourself, please contact me via my facebook page, or via elunedmurphy@outlook.com, thanks!

Love you!

Ellie xx

p.s. you don’t have to have hairy armpits to apply 😉

In response to… feminist boyfriends

in response to feminist boyfriend hairy armpitsFB. Source: jezebel

This is the response to my own post, rather than anything that has happened of late.

I just wanted to add on the clause that; when I am writing a fun article, I am in no way including misogynists who lie about being a feminist just to get into your pants, and possibly manipulate you in the name of feminism. There are many articles about this, so it seems to be a thing. I’ve never met a smooth talking faux, but I suppose looking out for the warning signs of manipulation in any relationship is always a healthy way to go.

So, if anyone is claiming feminist status, but does things like slap you on the butt and ask for a sandwich, then probably best to steer clear! Likewise, if a guy doesn’t explicitly say he is a feminist, but he does agree that equality for all is best and can empathise with the inequality you have experienced…

“Deeds, not words.”

“When people show you who they are, believe them.” Source: The Tube

5 Ways A Male Feminist Makes A Really Good Boyfriend

5 reasons you should go out with a male feminist hairy armpits pinterestFeminist boy. Source: Pinterest

This is another slightly silly post. But it’s true, a lot of women go weak at the knees for a feminist guy (or at least, I do!) and here’s why:

  1. He’s down with consent

A guy who is aware that when he offers a cup of tea, you might not want it at that particular point in time, and is ok with that becomes majorly attractive. Someone who understands what no means and respects it immediately and with little worry becomes someone we want in our corner.

2. He cares about you

If a guy cares about women’s rights and equality, then he cares about you and all women. That’s hot.

3. He is likely to be fair to you

Anyone that is on the side of equality is likely to show those same views within all of his relationships. Because fairness is important to him. Period.

4. He’s perceptive and empathic

A lot of people cannot see when inequality does not exist simply because it isn’t happening to them and they haven’t maybe understood (or they don’t want to) how this can effect any ‘minority’ group. (I say ‘minority’ as there are a few more women (1%) than men in my country today)

5. He will respect you

Anyone who sees women already as equal to men can see the good points about being a woman and respects women. It is those that believe women are ‘less than’ that do not appreciate women’s strengths. Likelihood is he will both appreciate and respect you.

This is not to say that all men (or women!) who proclaim themselves as feminist are perfect. But, if the right guy (or gal) comes along and they genuinely share these views… total bonus, right?!

If you liked this post and feel moved to give me a gift, I thank you in advance ❤

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So there you have it! What do you think? Let me know in the comments.

In response to… International Women’s Day 2017

hairy armpits blog in response to... international women's day 2017 8 marchWomen’s Day. Source: februarycalendars

This being a feminist website, I thought I’d best talk about the one day a year dedicated to celebrating women!

I usually don’t take much notice of it (which is perhaps ignorant, considering Annie Lennox’s wonderful and inspiring speech about the coming together of women of this day) as I write often about this subject, and I see everyday as a chance to inspire women; I see everyday as women’s day already. But a day to come together as a collective, to empower each other and to remember, that no woman is alone in this struggle for equality can only be a good thing in my book.

hairy armpits blog in response to... international women's day 2017 a lifeA life. Source: isis.aust

This year, sky are dedicating a week’s viewing to women’s achievements, the UN focused upon equality for women in the workplace by 2030, and Michelle Obama made an awesome speech about why young girls need to be educated.

Emma Watson once asked ‘If not me, who? If not now, when?’ and I think this question answers all of the doubts those wondering about why a women’s day is needed. Because it’s one time when all of the issues we are concerned about can be discussed, together. And that is really empowering. Knowing there is a time for your voice to be heard, makes it easier to speak out knowing you will be supported. You were going to say it anyway, but it just makes sense to say it then.

So here’s to another 364.

 

If you liked this post and feel moved to give me a gift, I thank you in advance ❤

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What do you think? Are you a fan of women’s day? What did you do this year to celebrate? Let me know in the comments!